Jole Ayres

Posted on August 10 2015


Inside this cramped black hole, I’m growing stronger with every day that passes, feeding off the contents of whatever mummy puts in her mouth. Building up my strength for I know that soon I will need it. It’s a feeling I’ve got, that soon I will need to fight my way out and start living.

 After what seems like a lifetime, that time is near. I feel mum cramping up and pushing and the rush of fluid that flows is showing me the way to go. With every push mum makes I push too. We push together like an unbreakable bond. We push so hard I can feel some cold air on the top of my head. I’m out, I’m out! I remember thinking, but then I get sucked back inside. This goes on for several hours and is super frustrating. I remember hearing the doctor saying “This is a big baby”, “Look at all of that hair!” I mean I don’t have a big head it’s all mums fault, she is so petite!

 The doctor makes a little cut and we push again and out I pop just a little further than before, but I get sucked back in again. This happens a few times and the doctor makes yet another cut to mummy. I’m hoping this pain won’t last too much longer for her as I already love her so much. There are only so many yoga breaths she can do to cope! We both push with all our might and now I’m through. My head is finally out, but the cord I have been clinging to for dear life is complicating matters around my neck and making it hard for me to escape the clutches of this little womb. The doctor is quick to action and cuts me loose.

 Guess who they pass me to? Yep, that’s right MUM! After 39 weeks of growing inside of her. There is a soothing familiarity about the way she feels, smells and breathes that brings my heart rate down and calms me. I open my eyes and look up at her “Oh so that’s what you look like!” Unconditional love at first sight. This is my mum, the woman who I will learn so much from and who gave me life. So I stayed there for an hour or so and then was weighed and cleaned. Thankfully because I could see this room was filling up with very anxious people waiting to see what I looked like. Waiting to meet the active little bump that’s been hiding for so long.

Now I recognise some voices (hard not to as they are so loud). The next person I get to hug is my daddy. He looks nervous and holds me tight to his chest, my bum nestled in the palm of his hand. I see the love come over him and I know I will be safe when he is around. People start to talk louder and take pictures with flashing lights. I can see this family is going to love me also and they will be forever in my power, always watching over me and providing me with things I need and the things I will want. Most of all, they will care for me and love me as much as I know I will love them.

This is my family, this is my life.


Avalon Renegade

Born 29th August 2014

John Flynn Hospital

6 pounds 5 ounces

51cm tall



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